Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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