eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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