I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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