I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
