Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
