Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So vagazzling was a success
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
