And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
