You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
