peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
