im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
