I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
one might say we're banned from that church
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
