so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
