I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
