physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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