You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
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Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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