So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
