My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
