Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
