oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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