and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
