You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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