My hand turned me down
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
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Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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