Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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