My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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