My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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