remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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