thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My liver just broke up with me...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
