Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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