i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
