You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
