seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
