just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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