I love black thongs
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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