Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
