Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
