i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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