hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize