Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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