Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
