TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
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