i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
