I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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