It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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