Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
