So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
