You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
