You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
