Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
