thus making me awesome and them whores
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
