Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Randomize
