I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
