i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize