____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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