how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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