I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
