she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
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I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize