Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize