Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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