We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
