Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
