Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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