Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
